My name is Erin, and I'm fat.  I'm fat and I'm lazy.  I think I'm lazy because I'm fat.

In the past there have been times when I realized that I am fat, and that I need to do something about it.  I'd stop drinking soda for a couple days.  Maybe I'd join a gym and go once or twice.  Then I'd just give up, because I am lazy.

I'm 37 years old, and it's time for me to buckle down and change.

I'm not sure of my exact weight, as I don't own a scale.  We have one at work, so I'll hop on it tomorrow.  Betcha a dollar that it's at least 240.  I'm 5 feet 5 inches tall.  I wear a size 18/20 in 'The Fat Lady Store' clothes, but higher from Big Box stores (Walmart, Target, etc).

Today I started Weight Watchers Online.  You know, the one where you track your points?  I'm allotted 35 points per day, and as of 5:07pm I have 9 remaining, and I still need to have dinner.  This was my fault, because I fell into my normal 'routine' of Jack In The Box for breakfast this morning.  That was 11 points.  I need to not do that anymore.

Part of my problem with gaining (read: not losing) weight, is because of my eating habits.  I don't eat often enough, and when I do, I over eat.  This slows my metabolism.  I've known this for a long time, but I have never done anything to correct it.

Another issue, is the way my family eats:  We are VERY picky.  My husband has eaten the same thing for dinner every night for nearly 9 years.  Yes.  Every night.  The same thing.  He's the same way with his lunch, but with a bit more variety.  He is not fat, far from it.  He's maybe 125 soaking wet. My son, who has Autism, is also picky.  Over the last couple years he's expanded his horizons a bit to build onto his diet of pizza and corn dogs, but I'm still hard pressed to get him to eat 'real home-cooked' food.  And then, there's me.  There are a lot of things I will eat, but a lot of things I won't (or can't bring myself to eat).  I'm more of a 'comfort food' lover.  I really like fried things with gravy on it.  I really like Dorito's.  And I REALLY like my Coke.  I also don't eat vegetables.  Don't judge me.

With the above mentioned, it's good to note that I don't cook.  I don't cook, because I'm the only one that will eat it.  Every once in a while I'll make myself chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes...but then I get stuck eating it for 2 or 3 days because of the leftovers.  Since I don't cook, it's easier for me to pop in a frozen pizza for myself when I get home, or grab some taco's from Jack In The Box on my way home (God, I love those nasty things!).  Or, I just don't eat at all.  I might have a little breakfast sandwich in the morning, and maybe something for lunch.  Then I may or may not eat dinner at all.  Sometimes, I put off eating dinner until right before I go to bed.  No bueno.

So, last night I signed up for WW Online.  I paid my $57 for 3 months.  You know I'm semi-serious when I put that kind of money into something.  That could have bought me 114 tacos.

This morning, I started.  Again, I had a fail moment with the breakfast jack, but I did mark it in my points.  I didn't cheat and skip over it, and I'm owning what I did.

I went to the grocery store today and I bought a bunch of things that I can and will eat.  I stuck with a bunch of the Smart One's meals by WW - firstly, because they're only $2 each (or less), they are somewhat tasty, and it takes the guesswork out of it for me. I got myself breakfasts & lunches for the entire week.  I picked up baby carrots & celery (VEGGIES!) for snacks, and some fruits (bananas, apples, plums, peaches).  Those are all zero points, so I can eat them without guilt.  I also got some 'light' popcorn that I still need to figure out the points for, some flaxseed 'buttery' spread to use on stuff.  Also some salad mix, light dressing, so I can have a side salad with dinner. This was the 'good' mix that has kale, spinach and stuff in it.  For dinners I have boneless/skinless chicken breasts, and I also picked up some veggie burgers to try out.  I can drown those in mustard & ketchup if they taste funky.

Anyway, that's where I'm at.  Going to make every attempt to use this blog to keep me accountable, even if I'm the only one reading it.

Peach out!